VALENTINE
How use doth breed a habit in a man!
This shadowy desert, unfrequented woods,
I better brook than flourishing peopled towns;
Here can I sit alone, unseen of any,
And to the nightingale’s complaining notes 5
Tune my distresses and record my woes.
O thou that dost inhabit in my breast,
Leave not the mansion so long tenantless
Lest, growing ruinous, the building fall
And leave no memory of what it was. 10
Repair me with thy presence, Sylvia;
Thou gentle nymph, cherish thy forlorn swain.
Shouting and sounds of fighting.
What hallowing and what stir is this today?
These are my mates, that make their wills their law,
Have some unhappy passenger in chase. 15
They love me well, yet I have much to do
To keep them from uncivil outrages.
Withdraw thee, Valentine. Who’s this comes here? He steps aside. | In another part of the forest, Valentine is alone and contemplates the perks of forest living. He likes the solitude and the sounds of nature because he can think about his love for Silvia without being disturbed. Plus, he doesn't have to deal with the chaos of court life. The only downside to this new lifestyle is that baby sitting his new outlaw buddies is hard work—he's always busy preventing them from robbing and assaulting hapless travelers. |
Enter Proteus, Sylvia, and Julia, disguised as
Sebastian. PROTEUS
Madam, this service I have done for you—
Though you respect not aught your servant doth— 20
To hazard life, and rescue you from him
That would have forced your honor and your love.
Vouchsafe me for my meed but one fair look;
A smaller boon than this I cannot beg,
And less than this I am sure you cannot give. 25 VALENTINE, aside
How like a dream is this I see and hear!
Love, lend me patience to forbear awhile. SYLVIA
O miserable, unhappy that I am! PROTEUS
Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came,
But by my coming, I have made you happy. 30 SYLVIA
By thy approach thou mak’st me most unhappy. JULIA, aside
And me, when he approacheth to your presence. SYLVIA
Had I been seizèd by a hungry lion,
I would have been a breakfast to the beast
Rather than have false Proteus rescue me. 35
O heaven, be judge how I love Valentine,
Whose life’s as tender to me as my soul;
And full as much, for more there cannot be,
I do detest false perjured Proteus.
Therefore begone; solicit me no more. 40 PROTEUS
What dangerous action, stood it next to death,
Would I not undergo for one calm look!
O, ’tis the curse in love, and still approved,
When women cannot love where they’re beloved. SYLVIA
When Proteus cannot love where he’s beloved. 45
Read over Julia’s heart, thy first best love,
For whose dear sake thou didst then rend thy faith
Into a thousand oaths; and all those oaths
Descended into perjury to love me.
Thou hast no faith left now unless thou ’dst two, 50
And that’s far worse than none; better have none
Than plural faith, which is too much by one.
Thou counterfeit to thy true friend! PROTEUS In love
Who respects friend? 55 SYLVIA All men but Proteus. | Proteus, Sylvia, and Julia (dressed as "Sebastian") enter the stage. Valentine sees them but they don't see him. Proteus, who has apparently rescued Sylvia from the outlaws, insists that Sylvia should be grateful. If he hadn't come along, they would have ravaged her. Sylvia says she would have rather been eaten by a lion than rescued by a guy who's betrayed everyone close to him. She tells him he should go back to Julia and be a better friend to Valentine. |
PROTEUS
Nay, if the gentle spirit of moving words
Can no way change you to a milder form,
I’ll woo you like a soldier, at arms’ end,
And love you ’gainst the nature of love—force you. 60 He seizes her. SYLVIA
O, heaven! PROTEUS I’ll force thee yield to my desire. VALENTINE, advancing
Ruffian, let go that rude uncivil touch,
Thou friend of an ill fashion. PROTEUS Valentine! 65 VALENTINE
Thou common friend, that’s without faith or love,
For such is a friend now. Treacherous man,
Thou hast beguiled my hopes; nought but mine eye
Could have persuaded me. Now I dare not say
I have one friend alive; thou wouldst disprove me. 70
Who should be trusted when one’s right hand
Is perjured to the bosom? Proteus,
I am sorry I must never trust thee more,
But count the world a stranger for thy sake.
The private wound is deepest. O, time most 75
accursed,
’Mongst all foes that a friend should be the worst! PROTEUS My shame and guilt confounds me.
Forgive me, Valentine. If hearty sorrow
Be a sufficient ransom for offense, 80
I tender ’t here. I do as truly suffer
As e’er I did commit. VALENTINE Then I am paid,
And once again I do receive thee honest.
Who by repentance is not satisfied 85
Is nor of heaven nor Earth, for these are pleased;
By penitence th’ Eternal’s wrath’s appeased.
And that my love may appear plain and free,
All that was mine in Sylvia I give thee. JULIA, aside
O me unhappy! She swoons. 90 PROTEUS Look to the boy. VALENTINE Why, boy!
Why, wag, how now? What’s the matter? Look up.
Speak. JULIA, as Sebastian O, good sir, my master charged 95
me to deliver a ring to Madam Sylvia, which out of
my neglect was never done. PROTEUS Where is that ring, boy? JULIA, as Sebastian Here ’tis; this is it. She rises, and hands him a ring. PROTEUS How, let me see. 100
Why, this is the ring I gave to Julia. JULIA, as Sebastian
O, cry you mercy, sir, I have mistook.
This is the ring you sent to Sylvia. She offers another ring. PROTEUS
But how cam’st thou by this ring? At my depart
I gave this unto Julia. 105 JULIA
And Julia herself did give it me,
And Julia herself hath brought it hither. She reveals herself. PROTEUS How? Julia! JULIA
Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths
And entertained ’em deeply in her heart. 110
How oft hast thou with perjury cleft the root!
O, Proteus, let this habit make thee blush.
Be thou ashamed that I have took upon me
Such an immodest raiment, if shame live
In a disguise of love. 115
It is the lesser blot, modesty finds,
Women to change their shapes than men their minds. PROTEUS
“Than men their minds”? ’Tis true. O heaven, were
man
But constant, he were perfect; that one error 120
Fills him with faults, makes him run through all th’
sins;
Inconstancy falls off ere it begins.
What is in Sylvia’s face but I may spy
More fresh in Julia’s, with a constant eye? 125 VALENTINE, to Julia and Proteus Come, come, a
hand from either.
Let me be blest to make this happy close.
’Twere pity two such friends should be long foes. Valentine joins the hands of Julia and Proteus. PROTEUS
Bear witness, heaven, I have my wish forever. 130 JULIA
And I mine. | Proteus says that if Sylvia won't love him voluntarily, he'll make her love him. Translation: he's going to rape her. Proteus grabs Syliva, but before he can assault her, Valentine rushes over and stops him. Instead of yelling at Proteus for trying to rape Silvia, Valentine lights him up for being a lousy friend and betraying his trust. That's a valid complaint for sure, but um...shouldn't the fact that his buddy is a would-be rapist be a little more concerning at the moment? Proteus apologizes for being a disloyal friend to Valentine and Valentine forgives him immediately. In fact, to prove just how much he forgives him, he says, "Proteus, old pal—Sylvia is all yours." Not surprisingly, Julia/Sebastian faints when she hears this. After a ring mix-up that causes Proteus to ask how Sebastian came to have the ring he gave Julia, Julia/Sebastian finally reveals her true identity. She tells Proteus he should be ashamed of himself, and he agrees. In fact, now that Julia's right here in front of him again, he doesn't know what he was thinking. What did he see in Sylvia that he doesn't also see in Julia? Proteus says, "My bad," and Julia replies, "Oh, honey. It's all right." Valentine joins their hands together, and all is well. |
Enter Thurio, Duke, and Outlaws. OUTLAWS A prize, a prize, a prize! VALENTINE
Forbear, forbear, I say. It is my lord the Duke.
The Outlaws release the Duke and Thurio.
Your Grace is welcome to a man disgraced,
Banished Valentine. 135 DUKE
Sir Valentine? THURIO Yonder is Sylvia, and Sylvia’s mine. VALENTINE
Thurio, give back, or else embrace thy death;
Come not within the measure of my wrath.
Do not name Sylvia thine; if once again, 140
Verona shall not hold thee. Here she stands;
Take but possession of her with a touch—
I dare thee but to breathe upon my love! THURIO
Sir Valentine, I care not for her, I.
I hold him but a fool that will endanger 145
His body for a girl that loves him not.
I claim her not, and therefore she is thine. DUKE
The more degenerate and base art thou
To make such means for her as thou hast done,
And leave her on such slight conditions.— 150
Now, by the honor of my ancestry,
I do applaud thy spirit, Valentine,
And think thee worthy of an empress’ love.
Know, then, I here forget all former griefs,
Cancel all grudge, repeal thee home again, 155
Plead a new state in thy unrivaled merit,
To which I thus subscribe: Sir Valentine,
Thou art a gentleman, and well derived;
Take thou thy Sylvia, for thou hast deserved her. VALENTINE
I thank your Grace, the gift hath made me happy. 160
I now beseech you, for your daughter’s sake,
To grant one boon that I shall ask of you. DUKE
I grant it for thine own, whate’er it be. VALENTINE
These banished men, that I have kept withal,
Are men endued with worthy qualities. 165
Forgive them what they have committed here,
And let them be recalled from their exile;
They are reformèd, civil, full of good,
And fit for great employment, worthy lord. DUKE
Thou hast prevailed; I pardon them and thee. 170
Dispose of them as thou know’st their deserts.
Come, let us go; we will include all jars
With triumphs, mirth, and rare solemnity. VALENTINE
And as we walk along, I dare be bold
With our discourse to make your Grace to smile. 175
Pointing to Julia. What think you of this page, my
lord? DUKE
I think the boy hath grace in him; he blushes. VALENTINE
I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy. DUKE What mean you by that saying? 180 VALENTINE
Please you, I’ll tell you as we pass along,
That you will wonder what hath fortunèd.—
Come, Proteus, ’tis your penance but to hear
The story of your loves discoverèd.
That done, our day of marriage shall be yours, 185
One feast, one house, one mutual happiness. They exit. | The outlaws burst onto the scene with a couple of prisoners: the Duke and Thurio. Thurio tries to grab Sylvia and Valentine threatens to kill him. (Gosh. Where were the death threats when Proteus had Sylvia?) Thurio says, "Fine. You can have her because I don't want her." The Duke is so impressed by Valentine that he lifts Valentine's banishment and announces that he can marry Sylvia. She'll be his "gift" to Valentine. Valentine thanks the Duke and announces that the outlaws should be pardoned for all their past crimes. Fine, says the Duke. Now that that's settled, everyone sets off for the Duke's court in Milan. Valentine gets all buddy-buddy with his father-in-law to be by promising to tell the Duke a funny story about how Julia wound up dressed like a boy in the middle of the forest. It might embarrass Proteus, but that will be his punishment for behaving badly. And when the story is done, Valentine says, they'll have a double wedding. Hurrah. (Psst! Check out What's Up with the Ending? for more on this strange, strange resolution to the play.) |