Quote 40
Suddenly the everyday Anne slipped away and the second Anne took her place. The second Anne who’s never overconfident or amusing, but wants only love and to be gentle.
I sat pressed against him and felt a wave of emotion come over me. Tears rushed to my eyes; those from the left fell on his overalls, while those from the right trickled down my nose and into the air and landed beside the first. Did he notice? He made no movement to show that he had. Did he feel the same way I did? He hardly said a word. Did he realize he had two Annes at his side? My questions went unanswered. (4/28/1944.1-2)
Anne’s description of herself is very confusing, and shows that she was very confused. But who ever said love and relationships aren’t confusing? Peter is probably just as confused as Anne. Neither of them can give voice to their confusion. We can all relate to that.
Quote 41
Everything’s going fine between Peter and me. The poor boy has an even greater need for tenderness than I do. He still blushes every evening when he gets his good-night kiss, and then begs for another one. Am I merely a better substitute for Boche? I don’t mind. He’s so happy just knowing somebody loves him.
After my laborious conquest, I’ve distanced myself a little from the situation, but you mustn’t think my love has cooled. Peter’s a sweetheart, but I’ve slammed the door to my inner self; if he wants to force the lock again, he’ll have to use a harder crowbar. (5/19/1944.2-3)
Anne enjoys giving care and happiness, but herself feels the need for greater emotional intimacy and understanding which Peter does not seem able to provide.
Quote 42
I know very well that he was my conquest, and not the other way around. I created an image of him in my mind, pictured him as a quiet, sweet, sensitive boy badly in need of friendship and love! I needed to pour out my heart to a living person. I wanted a friend who would help me find my way again. I accomplished what I set out to do and drew him, slowly but surely, toward me. When I finally got him to be my friend, it automatically developed into an intimacy that, when I think about it now, seems outrageous. (7/15/1944.9)
Anne recognizes that she didn’t fall in love with Peter, but turned him into someone else in her mind because of her desperate need to love and be loved.