Identity Quotes in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

How do you assert your identity when you can't say who you are? One of the last words Grandpa loses is "I," almost as though he's desperately trying to hang on to who he is. When your world's destroyed, who are you now? Grandpa's answer? Nobody.

Oskar doesn't want to be defined by his relationship to his father. He wants to be his own person. However, at this age, most of what he's doing are things he learned from his father. It'll take time for him to grow into his own.

Grandma's husband is still in love with her dead sister, Anna. She has trouble trying to define her own identity apart from "Anna's sister." But she is always more "Anna's sister" than she is "wife" to Grandpa.