Much Ado About Nothing Benedick Quotes

Benedick

Quote 16

BENEDICK
She told me, not thinking I
had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I
was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest upon jest
with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army
shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every
word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her
terminations, there were no living near her; she
would infect to the North Star. (2.1.239-247)

Benedick is undone by Beatrice’s quick tongue before he’s undone by his love for her. (Or maybe it’s her quick tongue that makes him love her.)

Benedick

Quote 17

BENEDICK
Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you
come in to dinner.' There's a double meaning in
that. 'I took no more pains for those thanks than
you took pains to thank me.' That's as much as to 
say 'Any pains that I take for you is as easy as
thanks.' If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I
do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. (2.3.259-265)

Benedick convinces himself that there’s underlying romantic meaning in Beatrice’s words, even when that’s obviously not the case. Love has the power to make us see what we want in conversation.

Benedick

Quote 18

BENEDICK [Sings]
   The god of love
   That sits above,
And knows me, and knows me,
   How pitiful I deserve—


I mean in singing. But in loving Leander the good
swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and
a whole book full of these quondam carpetmongers,
whose names yet run smoothly in the even
road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly
turned over and over as my poor self in love. Marry,
I cannot show it in rhyme. I have tried. I can find out
no rhyme to 'lady' but 'baby'—an innocent
rhyme; for 'scorn,' 'horn'—a hard rhyme; for 
'school', 'fool'—a babbling rhyme: very ominous
endings. No, I was not born under a rhyming
planet, nor cannot woo in festival terms. (5.2.26-41)

Benedick is poetic in his thinking and speech, but he fails in writing. His references are rich, and all he uses wit to refer to the twisted version of love as presented by epic poetry: Leander was the lover of the mythological Hero (probably the namesake of Leonato’s daughter). Leander died by drowning as he was on his way to see his love, swimming across a river to find her. The story is a twisted version of love, and Benedick warps it further by joking that Leander was a good swimmer.

Benedick jokes that Troilus is pandering to his love, Cressida, but Cressida betrays him by loving another. Benedick specifically uses "panders" as a pun on Pandarus, Cressida’s uncle who originally set the couple up.

Finally, "quondam carpet-mongers" (what???) means knights of the old days who avoided military service. It was joked that they earned their keep by lounging around on the court carpets, rather than fighting on the battlefield. These knights exemplify the definitional shift occurring during this time: once, being a gentleman meant being a great warrior, but the term was slowly changing and coming around to signify one who was versed in the arts of the court, including being a great lover (Remember what Beatrice says about manhood in 4.1.319). 

Ultimately, this all means that Benedick thinks that the guys who wrote epic love poetry were wusses, and though their stories have been immortalized by great poems, they didn’t love as deeply as he does. Thus, poetry is nothing when love is true. (Phew!)